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Mental Health s an integral part of my life, something I'm accustomed to but often neglect. This neglect isn't due to a lack of care, but rather external factors that make me avoid it. The best example of this is the stress I feel at work and the resulting lack of energy to bring myself back up. I often wonder if this is something I’m going through alone or if others experience it as well. I believe there are others, as most human beings think similarly and can have similar views.
I've recently asked my psychiatrist about my diagnosis as I was unaware of what I actually had. She told me that I have Bipolar 2 and Borderline Personality Disorder. Additionally, I have chronic anxiety disorder, creating a challenging mix for me on a day-to-day basis. To provide some context, Bipolar 2 is a type of bipolar disorder characterized by depressive and hypomanic episodes. This revelation was eye-opening for me because I didn’t know there were different types of bipolar disorders and episodes. I always assumed a manic episode was similar to what we see in the media—someone completely losing control. However, there are many degrees to it, making it difficult to label just one type. I’m often described as having hypomanic episodes, which are milder versions of mania that typically last for a short period. Textbook mania usually occurs for a few days in a severe form.
Mental health is an integral part of my life, something I'm accustomed to but often neglect. This neglect isn't due to a lack of care, but rather external factors that make me avoid it. The best example of this is the stress I feel at work and the resulting lack of energy to bring myself back up. I often wonder if this is something I’m going through alone or if others experience it as well. I believe there are others, as most human beings think similarly and can have similar views.
I recently asked my psychiatrist about my diagnosis, as I was unaware of what I actually had. She told me that I have Bipolar 2 and Borderline Personality Disorder. Additionally, I have chronic anxiety disorder, creating a challenging mix for me on a day-to-day basis. To provide some context, Bipolar 2 is a type of bipolar disorder characterized by depressive and hypomanic episodes. This revelation was eye-opening for me because I didn’t know there were different types of bipolar disorders and episodes. I always assumed a manic episode was similar to what we see in the media—someone completely losing control. However, there are many degrees to it, making it difficult to label just one type. I’m often described as having hypomanic episodes, which are milder versions of mania that typically last for a short period. Textbook mania usually occurs for a few days in a severe form.
I could go on about the different diagnoses I currently suffer from, but Bipolar 2 is the one I’m most focused on. The media often portrays people with this disorder as "crazy" or "insane" because of the word bipolar. Recently, I realized that for the past month, I’ve been experiencing hypomanic episodes at work without recognizing them until I entered a depressive episode.
Long story short, my manager has issues with her tone and delivery, which often aggravate me. She has told me numerous times that it’s not personal and to ignore it. However, as a gay Asian American, it’s not something I can easily move past. How do I know if she’s looking down on me because I’m a minority? As these situations usually go, my manager felt attacked by my response, and I know she will cling to that. I needed time to work through these emotions, so I took medical leave from work to sort them out.
I've been attending Betterhelp classes and therapy sessions. The most impactful comment I’ve received is that you can’t change the other person, but you can control how you react. I thought deeply about whether this applies to the workplace because someone’s delivery issue shouldn’t come at the cost of another’s mental health. I am going to trust the process and find a way to respond in a non-confrontational manner. I won’t give in or let this manager provoke me. I’m planning on returning to the office this upcoming Monday and am working up the courage to avoid reverting to my old ways.
I’ll post more about the treatments I’ve been undergoing to inspire others who might be going through the same struggles to seek help. I’m not a doctor, and this is all based on my experience, so treatments and approaches to dealing with the disorder can vary.
If you want to read more books like this, check out my Goodreads for books I've read. You can also check out more post like these on POV & Updates.
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